Poptart- 200
Shockwave Energy Drink- 220 ( wtf? )
No Fear - 230

Total- 680.

It is so incredibly truthful and real.

Dear Mr. President | TheKish's Xanga Site - Weblog

Fuck it's almost 3 am. FUCK FUCK FUCK!

How To Be A Stepford Wife
[http://d332.com/posh/how-to-be-a-stepford-wife/]

Ira Levin’s original 1972 novella The Stepford Wives was both suspense and witty satire. It told the story of Joanna Eberhart, a semi-professional photographer who moves to a small town in Connecticut away from New York City. Living with her husband and two children, Joanna notices the women of Stepford being staid, cheery homemakers who are obsessed with cleaning and cooking. Their husbands, a group of computer and chemical engineers spend most of their time in the Men’s Association, where women are barred from entering. She befriends Bobbie Markowe, a neighbor who exhibits all the traits opposite to those of the Stepford Wives. Together, they try to drum up a consciousness-raising group for women and bring feminism into Stepford. Along the way, they notice a pattern of change occurring among the wives. After looking into the newspaper archives, Joanna discovers that there once existed a Stepford Women’s Group headed by someone who is now only concerned with daily chores in her kitchen. How did this transition occurred and can Joanna escape the ever tightening grip?

The term Stepford Wives has become a household word in the course of thirty some years since it’s inception. Though no such town exists in Connecticut, the state of mind in the code of a Stepford Wife remains a point of debate between those who celebrate homemaking versus those who feel domestic chores are a patriarchal conspiracy to keep women from entering professional careers.

Though there have been several adaptations of Levin’s book, we shall stick with the original text to create a list on how to become a Stepford Wife.

APPEARANCE:
Be the picture of traditional femininity. Get your hair and nails done and be dressed well all the time, even if it’s going out to the driveway to fetch mail. Remember, you have to achieve robotic perfection. That means all that work and time will be going into appearing in tip top condition and being ultra-neat.

(note: Director Bryan Forbes made the first Stepford Wives movie. Because he insisted on his wife Nanette Newman being cast for a role, and she did not have a slender figure, wardrobe for the movie had to be drastically altered to “hide” her shape. This led to the flowery frocks that people have incorrectly come to associate with the image of the Stepford Wife. The Stepford Wife is a product of the male imagination at it’s most lubricious level. If you are at a loss for references to such imagination, pick up a copy of FHM magazine and multiply that with a Maxim magazine.

1. Always wear your makeup.

2. Always take care of your hair. Not a strand should be out of place.

3. If you are not well-endowed in your torso area, use bra inserts, augmenters, or the chicshaper. Large bosoms featured prominently in Levin’s original story.

4. If you are not thin, wear a girdle.

5. Wear tight, but conservatively-cut clothing to show off your assets. (Remember to wear an apron during housework)

6. Look in the mirror. Imagine yourself as a girl in a television commercial; you should look flawless, at all times. The picture of the Stepford Wife is the picture of a person who is healthy and takes good care of herself.

ACTIVITY:
Now you are ready to start your day. You are a domestic goddess and the home is your domain. Your home away from home is the supermarket. And the only higher power you answer to (and only when you are spoken to) are the men in your lives. That means, in order: your husband, your son, and then other men.

7. Clean clean clean! Everything needs to be spotless. Even if it takes a dozen repeated rubs, scrubs, and buff in the same spot. Clean and clean some more, in every corner of the house.

8. Cook.

9. Shop at the supermarket. Push your cart slowly. All items need to be placed in your shopping cart neatly, methodically, and in an orderly fashion.

MANNERS:
Stepford Wives are the model of etiquette. They are quiet and they speak softly. They use good manners, apologize often, and are perennially cheery. A Stepford Wife smiles as smiling is an act of submissiveness and agreeableness.

10. Practice gracious and polite behavior even when you are alone. Eat with the silverware in place even when you eat alone. Etiquette and proper manners begin at home, when no one is looking.

11. Never raise your voice.

12. Always say “please” and “thank you” for the smallest things, in public and private.

13. Always apologize for the smallest things, in public and private.

14. Do not possess any strong opinions on any subject, unless you are expressing enthusiasm for cleaning products or food ingredients and recipes.

15. Your man is No.1. He is the kingpin in your life. You answer first to him, then to your son, and then other men (and only when you are spoken to).

16. Don’t read, because who has time when you have this much housework to do and so many men to attend to?

Yesterday went well. I ended up at 860 and that is including the cookie that Evy and Danielle kinda pushed on me. (But who can resist white chocolate chip macadamia nut?) And my lean cuisine wasn't completely eaten. I gave Jeremy around half of it but counted 2/3 of the calories. I woke up today though and I feel as if I could eat a horse. :(
I was supposed to work today but Danielle missed some hours so now she can work the whole day. I definitely want hours, but right now I'm lazy. I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat today and when. I want to eat my other lean cuisine now but then I'm scared I'll eat more later... Maybe we'll try this:

B: Lean Cuisine 240
S: Celery 15
L: ???
S: Lemon 20
D: McDonalds Chicken Caesar Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette 240

So 515 plus lunch.